My younger cousin stayed with us for the weekend. Several times while he was here, he offered to help me doing things around the house. I always told him “Thanks but no thanks” basically. I told him that I would handle it.

After the very last time he asked and I declined his help, he told me that he wouldn’t offer to help me again. He insisted that I don’t ever need help, so he didn’t see the point in asking me again.

I am like that a lot. Always trying to do all things by myself. I don’t even like asking for help. It’s kind of hard for me to just step out of the way and watch others do things for me.

When my cousin made that statement, I began to think about what God would say about that. I also began to think about a situation in my life right now. I get so caught up in trying to do things myself, that I don’t allow God enough space to work in my life…I don’t allow Him enough room nor give Him enough access to help me.

I like to think that I have the right answer all the time, but I know that is not true. I love being right. I mean…Who doesn’t like being right. I must admit I have been wrong in a lot of things. A lot of those things, I seemed so sure of in the beginning. I started relationships with men because I felt like those particular men were right for me at the time.

I also entered into certain relationships because I did not want to be alone. Since I was 14, I never really had to be by myself. I have always had some type of  intimate male companion in my life. A lot of people enter into relationships they know will not be good for them. However, sometimes people enter into relationships because everything just feels so right. The person comes into your life, seeming to be all you’ve ever wanted, and you enter into it…not really considering if that is what God really wants for you.

I have wanted a lot of things and people in my life. I want what I want. No questions about that. I used to think that way a lot. Now, I’m maturing – physically, but most of all spiritually. I know that what I want isn’t always what God thinks I should have. That is why I am asking for His help. From now on, I’m going to step out of His way – completely move aside – and let Him work.

I have grown tired of trying to do things my way all the time. This is getting old and on top of that, I keep getting sidetracked and further away from living out God’s purpose for my life. I spend time adding people and things – things and people – to my life because I want them there. Then, I spend too much time trying to figure out how to get rid of them and often hurt because I have tried to live and do things IN MY WILL.

It’s time to let God take complete control over everything. I’m taking a permanent vacation from being the know-it and do-it all. I want God’s Will to cover my life. I want His Will to be all over and through it. This is a vacation that was desperately needed and I believe I’m going to really enjoy it. I want God’s help!

Move out of God’s way. Let Him help you in your decision making. Let Him help you in all areas of your life. Seek His heart and ask that His will be done.

Peace,

Ayana E.
myspace.com/ayanaelon